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02.18.04

Thad strikes it rich.

Thad is very excited, as he recently received this in his e-mail inbox. As he is very generous, we are encouraging EVERYONE to send an e-mail to the estimable William Abraham, Esq to find out-

a - does he have any money waiting for you, even though you do not share Thad's last name?

or

b - if not, could you please have some of his extortionate cut of the final settlement?

Note that our world-renowned attorney, Gregory Mandryk, gives the following legal advice:

"I'm a bit concerned about a few things. First, the grammar and phrasing leads me to suspect that this English barrister is used to speaking in some language other than English. Next, he doesn't specify what country you live in or even that he knows your first name. Furthermore, I never trust any lawyer who claims that 'honest co-operation' and his personal 'guarantee' are part of a deal. You guys better let me handle this one."

Yeah, right. And give up our guaranteed 40% of $5.5 million. I don't think so.

Anyway, here's the letter:

(Nov. 2006 note: There was a time when receiving a note like this was unusual enough that these comments seemed funny. Obviously, that time has long since passed.)

Dear Calabrese,

I am Barrister Williams Abraham a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to Mr.Mark Calabrese a national of your country, who used to work with Shell Development Oil company in Nigeria. Here in after shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of April 2001, my client, his wife and their three children were involved in an Auto Crash All occupants of the Vehicle unfortunately lost their lives.

Since then I have made several inquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track you over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the money left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were lodged, where the deceased had an account valued at about 5.5million dollars has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next forteen official working days.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 2 years now I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at 5.5million dollars can be paid to you and then you and me can share the money. 60% shall be for me and 40% for you.

I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Your Phone and fax number is required for easier communication and note this transaction is strictly confidential .

Please Forward all future correspondence to my confidential

Email:legalfirmi@mail2lawyer.com

Regards,

WILLIAMS ABRAHAM, Esq



Says Thad: "I'm gonna be swimming in greenbacks."


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